EdenFantasys. For the sake of anonymity, I decided not to go by my real name. I'd rather save myself of the embarrassment of friends or family stumbling across this rather intimate side of myself.
A little about me... I am in my mid-20's and in love with the greatest guy ever. We have been together a long time now. We don't have any kids yet, but will be making that step in the next few years. I've been blogging since middle school. I've had livejournals, xangas, deadjournals, you name it. It helped me explore myself with words and get to know myself better. In my teens, I began learning about different part of myself. It was a part that I began feeling as young as 11 or 12, but didn't have the maturity to really understand it at that point. I discovered the sexual side of myself.
Now, teenagers these days (damn, that makes me sound old!) are highly sexualized, but I was different. In general, even now, I am pretty shy and quiet. I didn't have a lot of friends and I was extremely awkward around guys. Inside that hard shell of an exterior, was this woman who wanted to claw her way out, but I could never push past that image of the quiet, nice girl that I had been projecting to everyone for years.
Inside I felt different. Ever since I had sex-ed in elementary school, I was so curious about sex and about my body. I had developed at a very young age, and by middle school I had over C cup breasts. I found myself dreaming and fantasizing about sex on a regular basis by the time I was 13. I began to explore my body not too long after that.
Being part of the internet generation, I found great outlet to express that private side of me through online journals. I started out reading other journals, filled with erotica. That in turn inspired me to write my own. Whether my writing was decent or not didn't matter. I wrote stories about what I wish I could do, if there were no consequence. I wrote stories inspired by my dreams. I wrote about what turned me on.
In my first few years of college, I began to delve a bit deeper into my sexuality. I decided to partake in a bit of roleplaying, via an online journal. This time, instead of just posting my completed stories, I created a character for myself. It was written in typical journal style, from my "character's" point of view. At that point I was still single and very much a virgin, but the role I took on helped me express my sexuality in a non-physical way.
I managed to gather a pretty good amount of followers, with numbers in the several hundred. I began to feel comfortable with that side of me. Soon, I took the plunge into posting picture sets. The were rather tame at first, but progressively I became more open, and thus my photo sets were more, shall we say, intimate.
I can recall the first set I posted. I was so nervous when I was taking the pictures. I remember shaking a little bit, but I also felt how aroused it made me thinking of someone seeing my pictures. Like I said, they were rather tame. They were tit pictures, both covered and naked, and one ass picture, but with panties. Really nothing outstanding, but it was a start. I posted them and less than a day later, the comments poured in.
It really didn't take too long before I wanted to take new pictures to share. Before I knew it, I was taking a new set and sharing them with my followers. Let me tell you, the comments gave me such a rush of confidence. I never really felt good about my body, so this gave me such a boost. It also was a huge turn on. I suppose that's when my exhibitionist side began to show through.
For several years I continued to post my erotica, picture sets and the occasional video. I did some live web-cam sessions as well as instant message chats. One day I realized that it just wasn't for me anymore. I grew bored of it and ended my character's story. I deleted my account and shut down my VIP community. To this day, there is still over 80 people that are subscribed to my long shut down community.
Less than a year after deciding to close that chapter in my life, I found the man of my dreams, and we have been together ever since. He is the only one that truly knows about this online past of mine. He was actually the one that inspired me to get back in the blogging saddle. This blog will be way different. This is not a character in one of my role plays. This is really me sharing my thoughts, my experiences, my past, as well as the occasional piece of erotica.
I apologize for this being so long winded. If you made it all the way through, I applaud you! If you have not gathered this already, this blog will be NSFW and may (ok, will) be quite explicit. I do not plan on sharing any pictures of myself or anything of that nature. I hope you enjoy it and please feel free to follow! I do follow back!