Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Long time, no see!

Well, I guess I disappeared off the blogisphere for awhile, didn't I?! My last post was in January and here we are at the beginning of summer. I had a lot on my plate the last few months, so I guess blogging just went to the back of my brain.

So much has been happened it the last few months. Some great things and some not so great. I will admit it has been a stressful time. Unfortunately, that stress has had an impact on the sexual department, and that's pretty much the pits. It isn't really a dry spell, but a lack of inspiration, a dip in self confidence, and less frequency. It is hard for me to feel desirable, which then totally puts me out of the mood. I just want to feel sexy, but I am having difficulty doing so.

There has been some fun in the last few months. I wish there was more, but that will just have to be worked on. I had a bit of fun in the car for my husband, at his request, and I think we both enjoyed that a lot. It always surprises me when he makes requests, but I wish he would do it more often. It is a real turn on.

So, there ya go. I am attempting to get myself back to normal state of mind and back into my sexual groove. I can't wait to get back to my normal horny self!

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

"dry spell"

I have been meaning to post, but I am having a bit of a blogging dry spell. I have been super busy since the weekend and I feel like my to-do list will never end. So, I have not disappeared, but I just have been consumed by life. I will be back soon with more seemingly random posts! In the mean time, I wrote up a review last night, so I thought I would share the link here: Sexy Secrets Compact with Bullet

Friday, January 20, 2012

Squirting

So, I was thinking about subjects I wanted to write about today, and I remembered mentioning something the other day about how the Mr. made me squirt. Well that's not something I have mentioned before, so, I figure, why not devote a whole post about it!

Let me start out by saying this. I was skeptical that squirting was even possible. I have seen the pornos of girls repeatedly squirting into other girls mouths and it just seemed like the were peeing. I knew that I certainly had never squirt during sex, but I was pretty new at it as well.

I think it was well over a year after I had sex on a regular basis that I squirt for the very first time. They say the first time is the "hardest" and now it is easier to make me squirt. I think that it is a mental block because the feeling before you have that release is that you have to pee. Most people don't want to piss themselves, especially during such a vulnerable moment, so you may ignore that feeling. The first time, I was so close to the edge I lost control and it happened.

I am not sure what men think it feels like when we squirt, maybe like it does for them to cum, but it's hard to explain. It is a release. It feels good, but does feel different than an orgasm for me. It can happen concurrently with an orgasm, and that is even better. I can squirt just with clitoral stimulation or g-spot. I have had such a powerful release that I have clenched so hard while being fucked it pushed his dick right out of me followed by an explosion of liquid. I have squirted with a toy once, but I usually use toys to mix up sex, not to just masturbate. That's another entry in itself! I squirted once with oral, but during an orgasm so I didn't know it happened till after I got up to find a puddle.

Now the Mr. loves and, a lot of the time, strives to make me squirt. It is a huge turn on for him. I do enjoy when it happens, but at times I try to hold it back because it makes such a huge mess. I do squirt quite a bit when I do, so just a towel will not do enough to save the sheets from it. I have used multiple towels stacked and still soaked through during a long session. I have also made a huge mess on the couch haha. I wasn't happy after the fact, when I was cleaning it up! I plan on getting a liberator throe soon enough so it will no longer be an issue. Gotta save my pennies first!

So, I know there are a lot of skeptics out there. I was one before, so I understand. They think it is just pee or whatever. I can tell you it is not. It doesn't smell like pee and it is not yellow. It does have a slight odor, but distinctly different from urine. It does not feel like you are peeing when it happens. You may feel the urge to before it happens, but the sensation is completely different when it is happening. Also, I have been able to soak the bed and get up directly following and empty my full bladder.

I am proud to say I squirt. My man knows how to make me feel good and I love the release it gives me. It's also a win because he thinks it is hot! Now I just have to invest in the necessary "equipment" (see below) to keep the mess to a minimum and I can squirt to my heart's content.


Dual sided microfiber and satin sex blanket with moistureproof coreMachine washable plush and satin sex blanket with moistureproof barrier in the centerPlushy and waterproof throe


Do you or has a partner of yours squirted? What is your take on it?  If you are a squirter, what do you do to contain the mess?

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Yay!

Soooo, I got my giveaway package today from Brie! (I mentioned it in THIS post) It was like Christmas morning opening it up ;-) Let me share with you what I got!
The bonus item I won: the best stuff ever, Shunga Erotic Massage Oil

She was so sweet to send me some extras! This is the Inked Slim Vibe. I love the design!!

"Frenzy- 60 Stories of sudden sex" Can't wait to crack this book open! Sounds like something to get the juices flowing!

JO H2O Warming anal lube! I am so excited to try this out!!

Oooo la la Fishnet stockings

Another must have- Eden wipes! Keep 'em next to the bed for after play time- with toys or a partner (or both hehe)

Thank you so much Brie! You should check out her blog, Behind Closed Doors, HERE.

I hope in the future I can host my own giveaways, once I get a bit more established here. Until then I look forward to sharing my love of sex, toys and everything in-between!

Like winning free stuff?

KissinBlueKaren is doing a $25 Giveaway for EdenFanatsys! You can check it out here! This ends on 2/2
Ugh, I meant to get a post in last night or sometime during the day, but I just didn't have the motivation or idea about what I wanted to write about. I did not end up following my plan last night with my new toy since it was hinted that I should wait till today. We did have a bit of fun when we got home and I received some "punishment" for not doing as I was told. I was instructed to pull my tits out as we drove home, but there were a lot of cars on the road so I got a bit nervous about being seen. As a punishment I got spanked and he tortured me by licking and playing with my clit till I came three times and squirted, which I try to avoid when I can (the squirting, not the cumming). He also fucked me wearing a vibrating cock ring while I wore my plug.

So, yeah, eventful night. I did get to play around with my toy a little while sucking his cock and I used the other to run it over is dick and balls as I was playing with them. As for today, no action for me. I have been having a scratchy throat since over the weekend, and it has been rather bothersome today. That, plus Mr. got tied up in a video game so no sexin' for this girl. Luckily I know I am not sick, I just don't know what is up with my throat. It may be from a lube I used but I am not too sure.

Right now I am trying to figure out something for the Mr. and me to do over the weekend, since we don't want to be stuck at home. Not too sure though. It would be easier if we lived near bigger cities and if it wasn't winter. There is so much more to do during the warmer months around here. We may go on a road trip or something. Hopefully we'll have some naughty fun while we are out and about too. Hopefully he will be up for that.

I was a little bit sad today when a package I was thinking would arrive today didn't, so I hoped for tomorrow. Then I found out it was delivered today, but not to my door! This is becoming a problem for me lately. I am home during the day and when I know I may have a package, I keep an ear out for the door. Sometimes it gets delivered no problem. Other times they go straight to the office and leave it there without putting the door tag on my door to let me know it is in the office in the first place. Normally this isn't too big of an issue since I can track things online, but once around Christmas the in-laws sent a large package to us but did not give us a tracking number. We waited for days around when it was supposed to arrive but nothing came. In-laws found the tracking number for us and we looked it up, only to find it was delivered almost a week before. At that point the office was closed for the holidays and our package was locked inside.

So anyways, hopefully my package is safe and sound in the office when I go by there tomorrow. I am really excited because it is from the Giveaway I blogged about a few days ago! I wish I could get go pick it up now :-( I really wish that shipping companies would actually come to my door to try and deliver before leaving it at the office. /rant.

Well, I am going to sign off for now. I am going to brainstorm some topics to touch on and hopefully I will have a new entry up sometime during the day. 

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Oh happy day!

One thing that is sure to make me happy is when I get a package in the mail! Well, I placed an order on Friday with Eden and it arrived today. I got two new toys to try out now, yippie! I had a specific function in mind, as I may have already mentioned, and I am happy to say that one of the toys fits the bill perfectly! Here is what I got:


The mini toy with mega vibrations with powerful and near-silent motor and 12 vibe patterns and multiple speeds, made with body-safe, FDA approved silicone.A chic and discreet mini case with super-powered, multi-function hidden Bullet.Eden Fantasys T-shirt made from black cotton with "I like things that go wroom" printed. Available in small, medium. large, extra large, 2x and 3x-large sizes.
The first is the PicoBong Honi bullet vibe. It is made of body safe silicone with a hard plastic base and has oodles of different vibration functions. The second is the Studio Collection Sexy Secrets Compact bullet vibe. It comes in a little mirrored case with a secret compartment for the vibe and extra batteries. The third, to show my eden love, I got their t-shirt.

I will be trying these all out in the next few days so I can write up a review for them. I know I will be giving the Honi a test drive tonight. We are going out to dinner and I am going to "wear" it out! I tried it "on" and it fits perfectly between my lips and doesn't slip out as I walked around. It is so, so quiet too, so you can't even tell it is there. I am so excited to put this to use tonight!

I hope the Mr. likes what I put on for him today. I am wearing an ultra-low cut top with no bra and a short skirt, no panties. I am eagerly awaiting his arrival home now. I will possibly post more tonight, if I have trouble sleeping, and if not in the morning. The reviews will be up soon on Eden and I will also post about them here, along with some product pictures. Hope everyone has a wonderful, sexy night!

Sugar

Monday, January 16, 2012

For once, I don't have a case of the Mondays, probably because it sure doesn't feel like a Monday! I love 3 day weekends. Mr. is playing video games and I am just browsing the web and typing this (obviously). I meant to post yesterday, but didn't get a chance to do so

We went to the sex shop yesterday afternoon. It was a bit disappointing, but I'm not surprised. We live in a smallish community that is very conservative. There are no "superstores" or anything of that nature. They are more mom-and-pop type places and, since I am spoiled by online shopping with lots of selection, the amount of inventory was a little sad. In addition, a lot of it was just items I have seen at novelty stores in the mall. The porn selection was quite small as well. They had an arcade and theatre but I decided not to check them out. It was just not clean enough for me.

There is one more place in town that we can check out. Maybe they will have a nice selection so I may find something I want. I was really hoping to find a nicer butt plug there, maybe even a glass one. I bought one when I first started venturing into toys and it isn't the best quality. I got something affordable (Slim butt plug junior) and small just in case I didn't like it. Now that I have discovered I enjoy it, I hope I can get one made of a better material (more body safe) and a different size and shape.

The shop we went to had very little high quality toys. No glass or steel. Very few silicone. Mostly jelly and "skin-like" toys. Those toys do have their places somewhere, but it's nice to have a choice. I do own some, which I mostly got as free gifts with orders, but I am educated on the safety of the material. I know that they are porous and hard to clean, and many contain phthalates. I am not so sure that the average person who goes into a sex shop is informed about what materials are safest or how to clean them properly. What is most concerning is if they decide to share a toy made of porous material without taking precautions such as using a condom with it.

Ok, off my soapbox now and back on topic. I hope to get a steel, silicone or glass butt plug in the nearish future. Something unlike rubber, which is a 3 out of 10 on the safety scale, that is a 10 out of 10 in safety. I have my eye on these beautys:

Glass anal plug with egg-shaped head, flared base, and 24 karat gold fumed designsBlue and black swirl silicone putt plugPyrex anal plug with smooth texture and wide base.Stainless steel anal plug with groovesPenis head silicone butt plug with flared base.Small stainless steel anal plug with handle.


I am quite surprised that I enjoy the butt plug, to be honest. I have had anal before and it is a really intense thing. Intense, but not necessarily good. Personally, I found it to be a bit painful. Once it was pretty bad that I ended up bleeding a bit and it hurt to sit, but we needed to use more lube. I relax as much as I can, but, for me, girth/length is the issue. The Mr. is a bit too big to be comfortable. It takes a bit of warming up for the pain to subside and for it to be more "pleasurable" if you will. It is a sensation like no other, really. This may sound crude, but it can feel as though you are shitting backwards. I defiantly does not get me off and, if I had to choose, I will always choose vaginal intercourse.

The butt plug is different for me. I have a small one so it isn't too intruding and is not painful to insert when properly lubed. It gives this sensation of fullness. I've put it in right before sex, not during foreplay, and it gives sex a whole new sensation. We have only tried it doggy style, and his thrusting lightly nudges the plug. It is a good feeling, since I did not enjoy the vigorous thrusting during anal sex. That fullness feels of both holes being penetrated is nice. For my next plug, I would like something on the short side, but with a bit more girth than the one I have. I don't think I am ready for anything with texture yet, so something nice and smooth.

We did have fun with the plug again last night. I was thinking we were just going to bed to sleep but Mr. started to play with my nipples. Playing with my nipples is close to one of my favorite things. I recently decided to take out my nipple piercings I got about 2 years ago and I think that they feel more sensitive now that they are out. I kinda miss them, but they were a bit of a pain in the butt at times. It isn't fun getting them caught on things! Anyways, there was some vigorous nipple play, along with some cock stroking and sliding it between my lubed up ass cheeks. I got out my plug and he fucked me doggy till we were spent.

That was a nice ending to my day. I decided to dress up a bit for him today, in a low cut, titty revealing dress, my favorite bra and, like usual, no panties. We went and picked up lunch and he swears these workers were staring at me. I didn't see it, but I guess I'll take his word on it. I hope he likes my outfit. Since this dress is easy access to my tits and pussy, maybe if we go out somewhere later I will play a bit in the car for him. He loves it when I expose my breasts as we drive around. hehe I love it too.

'Till next time,
Sugar

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Happy Saturday!!

Hope everyone has had a nice first day of the weekend! It was a pretty lazy day, but you can't be go-go-go all the time! Tonight was really fun though. It had a rough start, but a firework finish.

First of all, I did manage to pick up some silicone lube (love!!) so I had to try that out. I should have had this a long time ago. It gave the perfect slip to stroke the Mr's cock, but it wasn't too wet or sticky. A little lasted a long time too! We did something we don't do often, but I LOVEEE when we do- 69ing. OMG like the tongue of an angel on my clit haha SO. GOOD. After I was good and ready for him, I put in my little butt plug and presented myself to him to fuck. Yeah, total sensation/pleasure overload.

So that part of my night was awesome to say the least. To add a little more awesomeness, I found out I won a prize in a giveaway (Behind Closed Doors: Welcome 2012 Giveaway Winners) from Brie at Behind Closed Doors! I have seriously never won anything before so this made my day! Thanks so much to Brie!

Well, I best get to posting this so I can get some rest. The Mr. is snoozing next to me as I type this. Hopefully we will have a fun day tomorrow ;-) We didn't make it out to the sex shop today, so I think we will have to check it out tomorrow. That gets me pretty excited to think about, for sure!

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Well this weekend is off to a great start! My man (which we had decided needs a "name" to be referred to, but I am still thinking on that one!) and I went out and had good food for dinner, ran some errands, and then came home where I did a quick change to some lingerie for him. Things got better from there, that's for sure. Now I'm just basking in the after-glow, while he is peacefully asleep beside  me. This will be a three day weekend for us, so lots of time for fun and relaxation.

I am not sure what we are going to do tomorrow, but I am thinking about hitting up one of our local adult stores. We have been to one of the three locally. It was just a little place with a huge porn section but a not so big toy section. We didn't end up getting anything that visit. I am thinking about visiting one of the others to check out their selection, but also because the other two have arcade rooms and one has a theatre. I really don't see us utilizing either one at this point, but it would be nice to check them out for future reference.

I mostly want to get some different lube or something for us to use this weekend. I would like to get some silicone or hybrid lube to try out since we have stuck with water based or oil for the most part, when we use lube. For fucking, we don't ever use lube or need it (unless it's anal) because I get so, so wet. Not that's a bad thing. I typically use it for hand jobs and giving him head when my saliva isn't enough. I should have ordered some when I bought toys last night, but it wouldn't do us any good this weekend since my package isn't due to arrive till Tues/Wednesday. 

I am thinking about picking us up some porn while we are there. To be honest, we have never watched porn together and we don't watch it on our own... I have watched porn when I was single, and I know he has. For me, at least, I have a problem with porn in the sense that if you are watching it but turning down sex, that's a problem. If you are sneaking around to watch it, like when someone leaves for the store/errands/etc and you watch it when they are gone, then that's a problem (for me).  If you lie about watching it, but the site history or whatever is there, that's a problem. I want to be open in a relationship, and not feel like one is sneaking around because the other partner may not approve. I think there are huge issues if one partner can jack off to porn but doesn't want to have sex. That could mean multiple things and none are good (again, in my opinion).

I am so not against porn. It was a fantasy of mine to be in porn back in high school (Haha). I just would like to play an active role in my spouse's sexual . I want to be the one that turns him on, not some silicone tit, sized 0 replica Barbie-doll. I want to give him that release, even if I don't get anything in return. I want to keep him satisfied. That may sound unrealistic to some, but that is what I want in my relationship.

I will admit to watching bit of porn myself. I have never bought any or paid for it over the internet, but I have utilized free porn video sites. I have looked at pornographic pictures and read hard-core and fetish erotic fiction. I enjoyed it, for the most part. I am interested in bring porn into our relationship as something we could share as a couple. Something to help mix things up occasionally. I am a bit apprehensive about it though.

First off, there are SO many types of porn. I have watched mainly group sex, amateur, and couples/3sums (MF/MMF/FF/MFF combinations). I am not so into just watching a girl or guy masturbate. I am not into barely legal shit either. I can't stand spitting. I fucking hate seeing a girl spitting repeatedly on a guys cock. It just turns me off. I just don't know if we would find something the two of us will find appealing. I would like something with a story line, blow jobs, cunnilingus (HOT for sure), maybe a bit of girl on girl... I like pretty vanilla stuff. I am interested in squirting, being a squirter myself. I dunno. There is just so much out there.

I am a little scared that this will be a bit of a trigger for me. I have touched on the fact I have very low self esteem. It is something I struggle with every day. Some days are better than others. I have had things like that trigger me into those dark places. I think it is seeing good looking, skinny naked women that makes me self conscious at times. I am also concerned about how I will feel seeing the Mr. aroused over someone else. I don't quite like that idea. It gives me a bit of a inferiority complex.

As for me, the guys in porn do nothing for me. The girls really don't either, but the idea I suppose is what turns me on. Imagining it was you in that situation, maybe? I'm not sure. The guys typically skeeve me out and in general I hardly take notice of the opposite sex, besides the Mr. I guess porn can be a bit inspiring. It makes me want to try more adventurous things. I guess this is one we will just have to test the waters and see how it goes. Maybe this will be a great, fun thing for us. Maybe it will be a horrible idea and we won't have to watch it again. I'll keep you updated.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Exhibitionism?

You know what really gets me excited? The idea of doing naughty things in a public or semi-public place. Basically, somewhere there is a chance (even a small one) of getting caught. Let me put this out there that I DON'T want to get caught and I also don't want to expose myself to others. It excites me to think of doing something outside of the cookie cutter, sex in bed sort of thing.
So far, I haven't really played this fantasy out too much. My man and I are still working up to being more daring, I believe. We done a few things, but nothing too shocking in my opinion.

We've done the pretty tame sex while tent camping. Quite a few times, actually. The first time was at a smallish camp ground where there were only about 4 sites occupied. They were pretty spread out, so we didn't have any neighbors too close for comfort. The next camping trip was at a state park with a lake. We had a lakeside spot with gorgeous views. We had a neighbor for one of the nights, but, other than that, we were pretty secluded. The third camping trip was a small camp ground with spots very close together. We had neighbors the whole time, but we were in the last spot so they were only on one side of us. It was still kinda fun since I couldn't make too much noise.

We've fooled around a bit in mother nature. On the first trip I mentioned, we adventured off on some of the hiking trails and decided to have a little fun. I got down on my knees and gave him head for a few minutes before bending over and taking it from behind. He pulled out and came on the bushes next to me so I wouldn't have to be too messy on our hike back. On the lake trip we went swimming. I remember there was this older man that was giving us dirty looks from his camp and at that point we weren't even doing anything yet! After he took off somewhere, I pulled down my bathing suit in the water so my hunny could play with my nipples while I stroked him underwater. We didn't go much further than that since old dude returned, so we went back to our site to fuck.

Last Valentine's Day evening we got the stroke of genius that was, "hey, let's go out on the balcony and I'll give you head!" Well, it was fucking cold. I should have planned this one a little better and also picked a better time of the year! I were out there for about 10 minutes before the cold and the concrete became too irritating that we ventured back inside. I hope we can try that one again another time.

A few months ago, I gave him head and he fucked me doggie style at his work. No one was there since it was their day off, but it was still fun. It's a nice thing for him to think about while he is there. More recently I played with my vibrator in the car on our way home from across town. I think my hunny really liked that one. Or at least the huge tent his jeans were making told me so ;-) Oh yeah, I kinda also got him hard by rubbing him dick through his pants while flying last year. I would have gone further, but it was just a puddle jumper and a short flight so I didn't have too much time.

Well, this has gotten all rambly and may not make too much sense, but has totally gotten my imagination flowing. I want to try more things for sure, we just have to make it happen. Hopefully he will give me some ideas as well, since I know it is something that turns him on too. I put in a little order on Eden tonight, so soon I will have 2 new toys that may help me out, especially with the playing in the car. The worst part of ordering online is the dreaded wait for the package. I am so spoiled by instant gratification of buying in stores that even just a few days sucks haha I will for sure be posting about my new toys after I get them, so stay tuned!

Thursday, January 12, 2012

Camming

So, I mentioned briefly in my introduction post about how I did some cam sessions during my role-playing days. It feels insane even typing about this seeing as there is only one other person that knows I did that at all. I am not quite sure what he thinks of it either. He is definitely someone who doesn't speak about what he is thinking often. I really wish I knew what was going on in that head when he gets those funny facial expressions. I think he may be intrigued? Curious about what I was like? I'm not sure. Hopefully not turned off by the thought. I have told him a bit about it. It's a lot easier to type it out though, rather than tell all the details out loud. It kind of makes me feel embarrassed I guess, to actually say what I did.


I am not sure what actually pushed me to begin camming, but it was probably at the urging of my followers. I was pretty steadily posting pictures and role playing with quite a few over AIM at the time. I had a pretty good amount of "regulars" that always commented on my posts and corresponded with me. I created an AIM account and a yahoo messenger account, and shared it with them. In the evenings I would get online and chat with the first person to message after I logged on. I would then go invisible because I could not keep up with all the messages I received. Occasionally I  would talk to two at a time.

It usually started out the same. Compliments and telling me how sexy I was, or what they wish they could do to me. They would usually ask how wet I was or if I was naked. I had quite a few regulars that wanted to role-play with me. With one guy, we would play the stereotypical teacher/naughty student. He liked to RP that he saw I wasn't wearing panties and I needed punishment. That it was naughty to tease men like that if I wasn't going to give them what they wanted. He quite liked spanking and pulling hair. It was interesting to say the least. Others just wanted to RP as if it were "you and me" and what would we do to each other. Some just wanted a play-by-play of what I was doing to myself and they told me what they were doing in response.

More and more I was getting asked about getting on cam. I really had not considered it before but I kinda liked the idea of people watching me. I decided to go for it. I posted to my journal that I was going to do a live show and if anyone was interested in watching, I would be on yahoo at this particular time.

I got a cam set up on my headboard, giving a whole body view, but making sure my face was obscured. I dressed up in a silky camisole, thong, garter belt and stockings. At the set time I logged in and I got so many messages! I opened up my cam to my friends list and then they could see me live, for the first time. After getting warmed up by chatting a bit, I began my little show.

I began by softly caressing myself over my clothes. I slowly lower my straps to my camisole, exposing my tits. I gently played with my hard nipples and then applied lotion to my whole breast, vigorously massaging. Once I began to get worked up, I seductively took off my garter belt and stockings and touched myself under my thong before taking that off too. With on hand I massaged my clit and the other I pinched my nipples. I got so worked up, I grabbed the lotion bottle and rubbed it between my pussy lips and across my clit. It was pretty exciting but I just couldn't get myself to cum on cam. Nerves perhaps.

After that first time, the requests rolled in for more. I began making videos and posting them to my journal, and then to a community I created for my so-called VIPs. I did many group cam shows as well as few one on ones. Those were pretty interesting because they would get on cam too. It is such as rush to see someone get themselves off to you. There was a pretty varied group people. Some women that watched my cams (but I never chatted or cammed one on one with them), young guys, older guys... I had a regular Aussie guy as well as an older guy that liked to jack off to me. I had readers send pictures of their dicks against my pictures, jacking off to them, even cumming on my pictures. I had people buy me a paid account for my journal and send me videos or even their own erotica starring me. It was nuts.

It's been about 5 years since I did all of that. It's kind of been my dirty little secret. I told myself that I wouldn't tell anyone I got into a relationship with, but changed my mind later. I did experience some guilty feelings about it. Do I regret doing it? Yes and no. Yes because it sort of makes me feel dirty, in an unsexy way. Sort of cheap I guess. I also don't because it made me feel good about myself. I have very bad self esteem and it felt nice to be told I was desirable, even if it was just talk from Joe Blow on the internet. I don't care if they really meant it or not. I also don't regret it because it helped me blow off steam and not do something else I would regret, such as sleeping around.

I had sexual urges that were satisfied and I didn't make any real-life mistakes due to raging hormones. I am happy to say my man is my one and only. Other guys may have seen my body, but HE is the only one that has HAD my body. I don't regret that at all.

dress up


I have been on a bit of lingerie kick lately. I never really owned any till the last few years, and even then it was just little nightie type things. I didn't feel confident enough with my body (in person-photos/videos are a little different... I will touch on that later) to wear anything too revealing, even though the end result was to get naked. ha. Doesn't make much sense but meh. Anyways, I have been doing better in feeling more comfortable in my own skin, and in turn feeling more confident to wear sexy little costumes and such for my man. I know he enjoys it so it gives me enjoyment too and makes me feel good  about myself.

I remember my first nightie I bought. I got it at Christmas time along with my first pair of crotchless panties. It was pink and had a deep, lacy v that plunged down past my breasts. I felt so uncomfortable wearing it that I chickened out putting it on Christmas evening. Luckily, I toughened up a bit and wore it later. Since then, I feel a lot more secure and I have added a bunch more to my wardrobe. If I had unlimited funds, hell even just a pretty big amount to throw around, I would go on the biggest shopping spree for lingerie (and toys probably).


I dressed up a little this evening. I made sure to be ready when my man got home from work. I decided on a corset up top. It is really frilly and just hot. Since I have gargantuan tits, I put on a tank top under to help secure the girls. Normally I would skip this, but I was planning on wearing this longer then just in the bedroom and my tits tend to want to escape. With the corset I paired a little skirt and crotchless, lacy panties. When my man came home, I was all ready and wearing an apron cooking dinner for us. I think he got a kick out of having me already dressed up since normally I would be in my usual casual attire.

After he was sufficiently fed and we relaxed a little, we headed to the bed room. Needless to say, my outfit didn't stay on very long. After we had our fun, he was asking what I was going to wear for him tomorrow! Lucky for him, I have a little something tucked away in the closet that I have been waiting to wear.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Story time!


Though few and far between, I still occasionally write little stories for the fun of it. I wrote this one in Spring 2011. Enjoy.
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The dull roar of the jet engines does little to distract the tumultuous of thoughts racing through my head. Am I really doing this? Have I gone completely crazy? Am I in over my head?
I attempt to convince myself that I was sane. It isn’t like this is an uncommon occurrence in these days. Girl meets boy. Girl falls in love with boy. Girl flies half way across the country to see boy less than two weeks after their whirlwind romance began, while still unsure exactly how the romance began in the first place. 

It’s a lot to wrap my head around. I’m not really sure what the catalyst was that started the events that lead to me being here, but it all started innocently enough. It started with a phone call.
I was expecting it when my phone came to life with an incoming call. He had asked when he could call me through a text message while I was at work. Begrudgingly I texted back when I would be off, with nervous butterflies flopping around in my gut. 

Two years prior, I had avoided his phone calls. The hairs on the back of my neck would prickle up whenever his number danced across my screen. A jolt of nerves compelled me to hit the ignore button. I had no good reason not to answer, other than my utter lack of self-confidence telling me not to. I was effectively reduced in to a puddle of jello with just a simple phone call. 

He made me nervous for no obvious reason. This was not some stranger off the web, after all, but someone I had gone to school with for five years. He was the harmless boy who sat in front of me in class. Smaller than me, quiet and looking much younger than his 13 years at the time, while I was commonly mistaken for a teacher, having been an early bloomer. We didn’t have a close relationship, but he had left an impression on me. Nine years later, that kid, who was now a grown man, intimidated me, in a strange role reversal. I wanted to know him better but felt paralyzed by his calls. To my odd relief, the calls from him slowed, and then ceased. 

Over the next two years we exchanged sporadic at best text messages or random hellos on social networking sites.  I figured he thought I was a frigid bitch for avoiding his friendship in the past. I was mad and disappointed in myself for ruining our chance at friendship, so, for the sake of trying to redeem myself, I decided to talk to him. The worst that could happen would be boring the pants off of him or making a fool of myself.

I nervously answered the phone, heart racing in an uneven rhythm. It was understandably awkward at first, seeing as we were near strangers.  He was better at keeping the conversation going then I was, but soon we fell into a comfortable banter, almost like old friends. Time passed quickly but it also felt as if time wasn’t moving at all. 

Somewhere along the line, direction of conversation evolved into something much more than just friendly gossip. I could feel the chemistry and sexual tension electrifying our exchange. It made my head buzz in excitement and confusion and made my panties wet. We promised to talk again the next day. And so we did, every day leading up to where I was now, cruising at 35,000 feet in the air, headed in his direction. We were just hours away from us being face to face for the first time in years. 

I fidgeted uncomfortably in my seat, stuck between a snoring older man and Korean teenager watching movies with subtitles on his laptop. I could feel where my skirt had hiked itself up and I tried futilely to adjust it knowing that I had skipped panties when dressing that morning. This was not unusual for me, and something I know he was hoping I would do. I had come to regret it by this point, especially after fighting to keep my skirt down in the wind navigating stairs at LAX, and I had no doubt that I had flashed at least one person during that struggle. On top of the fear of giving everyone a crotch shot, I was becoming acutely aware of the moisture between my legs that was building along with my anticipation. 

I wasn’t really sure what I was anticipating and I felt a bit in over my head. I lacked any experience what so ever, not just sexually, but in relationships. I had been flirted with, asked out, what have you, but nothing felt right. Not until him. He stimulated my brain, as well as other more sensitive parts of me, without even being in the same room. He made me feel like one half of a whole that I had been searching for. I feared that this could be too good to be true, but knew I would have to live with the regret if I let him slip away from me again.

I slowly took deep breaths, attempting to calm my pounding heart. I was scared to see him, but I wanted to be with him desperately. I flipped through a magazine I brought as a distraction and idly tried to absorb any sexual knowledge from its pages. Soon we touched down and I was that much closer to my destination. One more connection and I knew there was no turning back. It was time to test if our chemistry extended past our phone conversations. 

Touching down at my last stop was exhilarating and horrifying. My fear of rejection was rising in my chest, but I focused on collecting my baggage to quell it. I brought up his number and dialed, his soothing voice answering that he was waiting out front for me. He couldn’t wait to see me. This is real.

I made my way out the revolving doors and caught sight of him in the distance. No longer shorter than me like the boy had been, the man towered over me. I had the urge to run, but settled with a fast walk. There he stood with a shy smile. I felt a blush creep across my cheeks as we loaded my bags into the car and I took my place in the passenger seat.

He joined me in the cab and pulled me into an embrace and kissed me passionately. My body was ablaze as I felt his lips press desperately against mine. The ride back to his place couldn’t be quick enough, but, finally we arrived. He dragged my bag inside behind me and I took my surroundings in. It was a typical bachelor pad with scarce décor.  We stood and embraced each other for a few minutes, a sense of relief of finally making it here radiating through me, before my pent up desire took over. We headed to the bedroom.

I sat on the edge of the bed anxiously and he began to unbutton my blouse. I can feel his nervousness too, behind the confident façade. Numerous articles of clothing later, I scoot to the middle of the bed and I beckon him over to me. I take in his naked body as he crawls over to the center of the bed and in between my legs. I almost quiver with longing as he leans over me and we kiss.

He pulls away from our kiss and we bring our bodies closer together in union. He tenderly asks if I’m ok as I feel the first pressure of him entering me, slowly. I sigh, with a twinge of discomfort that passes almost as quickly as it came. Slowly, slowly he presses forward until I can feel every inch of him inside of me, connecting us by pulse pounding heat. I begin to become accustomed to his girth as he slowly, pulls back and forth, in a building, steady rhythm. A moan escapes my lips as pleasurable waves wash over me. His pace increases, doubling then tripling the pleasure as we both approach orgasm. I feel myself go over the edge, muscles contracting involuntarily and he then comes inside of me, with nearly silent grunts. 

We lie there, recovering our breath and composure before making our way to the shower. The long day finally catching up with us, we return to bed freshly showered and entangle our naked bodies to sleep. Exhausted, but my body still buzzing, I lie awake, listening to the thunderstorm brewing outside and drinking in his body in as he quietly snores in my arms. Sleep slowly drifts over me and I fall asleep on his chest, knowing I’m finally home.

Sugar's Favorite things

Now that the long, boring introduction is over with, it's time for the fun stuff. Almost a year ago I was wanting to make a purchase of toys for my man and me. During my search for a site, I came across Eden Fantasys. I was brand new to the toy business, only having owned one crappy vibrator that I bought at a novelty store. This was like the ultimate kid in a candy store experience, and now I am hooked on toys, lubes, and lingerie. I don't think my man is complaining though! Anyways, I have found a few good, affordable products that I love, love, love and thought I would share...


Multi-speed silver egg vibrator made of plastic with purple control pack.Sensual massage oil is made of exotic cold pressed  essential oils.Scented talc spray with pheromonesSilicone, Phthalates Free, Waterproof, Multispeed wand vibrator powered by a whisper-quiet motor with flexible head, perfect for travelling.Edible oral-gasm cream
1. Multispeed basic vibrating bullet. I know, basic sounds boring, but this baby is one of my fave toys. Not only does it take NORMAL batteries (AA, not those damn watch batteries) but it can pack quite the punch. No bells and whistles, just simple, intense vibrations. Guaranteed to make me cum. Even better is that it costs about $10!

2. Shunga exotic massage oil. I have a confession to make. I am a bit of an oil slut. I love massage oil! This is the best massage oil I have ever used. There are many different scents to choose from and it lasts a long time. I usually have this within arm's reach of the bed so I can oil up my tits during foreplay or give my man a good rub down. 

3. Silky Sheets spray. This is pretty fun. Spray this on your sheets and they feel silky soft and smell good too. Can also be used on the good old wet spot to help absorb the moisture. Personally, I like taking this on trips and spraying it on the hotel sheets. 

4. Wanachi Maxi. This is a fairly simple wand massager, but that's the beauty of it. It packs a nice punch, is waterproof, no cords, affordable... What's not to like?

5. Tasty Twist. This oral enhancer balm is yummy. I have it it orange dreamsicle flavor. This is perfect for when I am having a bit of dry mouth while giving head. It also gives a little tingling sensation, which is nice. 


So there you go, just a peak into my toy box favorites, and these won't break the bank. I still have many more that I may share in the future and I am still diving into new and different products when I can. I am open for suggestions as well, so feel free to comment with any suggestions!

Welcome to my corner of the blogging world. I've been pondering making a new blog for quite some time, and finally felt inspired enough to follow through. So, let me introduce myself... You may call me Sugar. No, that's not my real name, but just a shortened version of my screen name on EdenFantasys. For the sake of anonymity, I decided not to go by my real name. I'd rather save myself of the embarrassment of friends or family stumbling across this rather intimate side of myself.

A little about me... I am in my mid-20's and in love with the greatest guy ever. We have been together a long time now. We don't have any kids yet, but will be making that step in the next few years. I've been blogging since middle school. I've had livejournals, xangas, deadjournals, you name it. It helped me explore myself with words and get to know myself better. In my teens, I began learning about different part of myself. It was a part that I began feeling as young as 11 or 12, but didn't have the maturity to really understand it at that point. I discovered the sexual side of myself.

Now, teenagers these days (damn, that makes me sound old!) are highly sexualized, but I was different. In general, even now, I am pretty shy and quiet. I didn't have a lot of friends and I was extremely awkward around guys. Inside that hard shell of an exterior, was this woman who wanted to claw her way out, but I could never push past that image of the quiet, nice girl that I had been projecting to everyone for years.

Inside I felt different. Ever since I had sex-ed in elementary school, I was so curious about sex and about my body. I had developed at a very young age, and by middle school I had over C cup breasts. I found myself dreaming and fantasizing about sex on a regular basis by the time I was 13. I began to explore my body not too long after that.

Being part of the internet generation, I found great outlet to express that private side of me through online journals. I started out reading other journals, filled with erotica. That in turn inspired me to write my own. Whether my writing was decent or not didn't matter. I wrote stories about what I wish I could do, if there were no consequence. I wrote stories inspired by my dreams. I wrote about what turned me on.

In my first few years of college, I began to delve a bit deeper into my sexuality. I decided to partake in a bit of roleplaying, via an online journal. This time, instead of just posting my completed stories, I created a character for myself. It was written in typical journal style, from my "character's" point of view. At that point I was still single and very much a virgin, but the role I took on helped me express my sexuality in a non-physical way.

I managed to gather a pretty good amount of followers, with numbers in the several hundred. I began to feel comfortable with that side of me. Soon, I took the plunge into posting picture sets. The were rather tame at first, but progressively I became more open, and thus my photo sets were more, shall we say, intimate.

I can recall the first set I posted. I was so nervous when I was taking the pictures. I remember shaking a little bit, but I also felt how aroused it made me thinking of someone seeing my pictures. Like I said, they were rather tame. They were tit pictures, both covered and naked, and one ass picture, but with panties. Really nothing outstanding, but it was a start. I posted them and less than a day later, the comments poured in.

It really didn't take too long before I wanted to take new pictures to share. Before I knew it, I was taking a new set and sharing them with my followers. Let me tell you, the comments gave me such a rush of confidence. I never really felt good about my body, so this gave me such a boost. It also was a huge turn on. I suppose that's when my exhibitionist side began to show through.

For several years I continued to post my erotica, picture sets and the occasional video. I did some live web-cam sessions as well as instant message chats. One day I realized that it just wasn't for me anymore. I grew bored of it and ended my character's story. I deleted my account and shut down my VIP community. To this day, there is still over 80 people that are subscribed to my long shut down community.

Less than a year after deciding to close that chapter in my life, I found the man of my dreams, and we have been together ever since. He is the only one that truly knows about this online past of mine. He was actually the one that inspired me to get back in the blogging saddle. This blog will be way different. This is not a character in one of my role plays. This is really me sharing my thoughts, my experiences, my past, as well as the occasional piece of erotica.

I apologize for this being so long winded. If you made it all the way through, I applaud you! If you have not gathered this already, this blog will be NSFW and may (ok, will) be quite explicit. I do not plan on sharing any pictures of myself or anything of that nature. I hope you enjoy it and please feel free to follow! I do follow back!